docuclub

talk back

Talk Back # 6: Committed

DocuClub audiences were present and “committed” for Jon Cofinas’ feedback session last night. The doc—which depicted his childhood friend’s coming-of-age process via marriage to a young woman from China—was well received. The filmmaker had shot 250 hours of footage over a period of five years, and presented a rough cut that was almost two hours long.

Moderator Ingrid Kopp, Director of U.S. office of Shooting People, started the feedback by positing that the film had two strong storylines that almost seemed to be competing with each other: On one side is protagonist Joe’s lifelong struggle with mental illness and his steady diet of pills; on the other, cross-cultural romance between Joe and his new wife EnYu. Additionally, Ingrid appreciated the complexity of Joe as a character hard to pigeonhole, who was constantly surprising and not easy to figure out. 

EnYu tells Joe, “You don’t need medication—I’ll be your medication.” Many in the audience agreed that at the beginning of the film, much was made of Joe’s breakdown and hospitalization, and subsequent medication, only to be dropped and not fully realized or tied up at the end. 

We left the screening room at Goldcrest with still much to comment to Jon. Let’s use this space to elaborate on what we thought of his film.

Comments

A great DocuClub!  I said this last night but I do think we need to meet EnYu sooner in the film.  In the first half, there is a lot of talking about things before they happen instead of experiencing them on screen.  Also, I had no sense of time after they got married.  Not sure if that is crucial but wanted to mention it.  Lastly, for the purposes of showing Joe’s newfound maturity, I was not sure I needed both the college degree and the journey to buy the house.  Because we never see him go to college, I might take that out.  Hope any of this is helpful.

Posted on September 25, 2008 by tuckergurl

Lots of fun the other night.  Really enjoyed the film and enjoyed thinking about it.  Sorry for taking so long to post.  I’d actually say the opposite of the above comment in terms of EnYu’s introduction.  I think if the story for you is “boy becomes man” you might want to try building a new opening sequence that is really just about Joe being stuck as a boy in that house.      Maybe introduce more of the family dynamic at that time too, eg the tension with the father etc…  That way when you do introduce the Enyu “mail-order bride” idea the audience may be more likely to see it as the major attempt to break out of his house, the major storyline, but not the story in and of itself.  You may ultimately find the “will EnYu see what the audience sees and leave him as soon as she hits the U.S.” story has so much tension that it is a more gripping film from an audience perspective than the “boy becomes a man”, but if “boy-man” is the film you want to make, then framing it before we get attached to the drama of the relationship might help. Maybe something like reading his rockstar dreams homework assignment might work at the beginning?

Also…some small actionable stuff that may help—

Placement of the introduction to the job…moving it forward may help.  Now, it kind of interrupts some of the tension you are building about the possibilities of EnYu.
The long sequence of interviews with friends, family, etc… (the one where the friend says that Joe was holding onto the relationship with the ex in the hospital) is a sequence you might try to cut down.  It’s the longest interview based sequence in the film and the biggest departure stylistically from the rest of the film.
Interview with Joe before meeting the lawyer scene—thought it might be stronger if the last line was “I’ll be your medicine”...let that lead into the lawyer, now it’s kind of submerged near the end of the interview.
During the “transformation” sequence, when he mentions going off his meds, instead of making it negative, I’d try making it positive—almost too positive.  I think that will increase the tension about the meds as the audience will see it the way we are seeing the Enyu optimism at that point…a pipe dream that is destined to fail and fear his hopeless optimism.
In terms of emotional notes too, I might try dialing back a little on some of his anger.  Once we kind of see his deal (in that first phone call to EnYu), it became a little bit harder for me to buy into his dreams.  As much as I did continue with him, there then was a part of me that was with her thinking “God, she has no idea of what she is getting into…”  Everyone has a different limit on these kinds of emotional stuff, but for me if the anger came down a little in the middle, it would allow me to invest slightly more in him.  I don’t think it means anything major, just maybe a couple of the F-you’s (like the one at the end of the rockstar dream homework assignment.)
One last thought…if you can put more of the house-buying decision making stuff on the screen (Eg—a stronger sense of what is at stake and at risk..could the house buying drive them apart?  Might the pressure of the decision make him really crazy?) And if there is any way to build up the moment of decision to buy the house…that might help make the ending of moving in feel more like the ending you want.
Anyhow, I hope that helps, if nothing else more food for thought.  I can imagine you may feel like you’re in the stage where you can’t see anything, but feel confident about what you have. It’s there in a way that for me was both compelling and wonderfully human.  Some great slices of the “Onion” so to speak!

Posted on September 29, 2008 by ZachLevy

So, it’s taken me awhile to sit down and do this.  My apologies.  But I thought the film was intriguing. The film provided - and will provide an experience for viewers who watch it. 
1) don’t underestimate the real tangibility of the filmmaker as one of the main characters.  Your relationship with Joe, to me, was as important as the father-son, mother-son, and wife-husband relationships that were portrayed. While watching, I couldn’t help but think about the filmmaker, the sojourn he was on, and the admiration, or even commitment, he seemed to have for his friend (I assumed you and the main character were very close by the way the parents were addressing you when they entered a room).
2) I would say don’t worry about the “buying a house” as the grandiose end to Joe’s “growing-up” narrative arc.  To me the story was less about joe getting out of the house, or buying a house, to “grow-up”. I know plenty of men and women who buy homes who, at the end of the day, are still children emotionally. To me, the real message of the film was that Joe was was learning “to experience” or live in the moment and to me, that was emotionally more meaningful then him literally moving out of the house or “flying the coop”.  This emotional transformation occurs through his increased playfulness and willing to take chances by the end of the film that told me he was growing up. Not so much that he was married or moving out. In short, I liked it quite a but. Keep going.  I think you have a really strong film coming together there.

Posted on October 13, 2008 by hiphil